Monday, October 31, 2011

Week 2

This is Harper and I's second week. We made it through last week with surprisingly no problems. She was happy for the most part and I had a blast.

Things I've learned in the last week:

#1, if you're really lucky all her poopy diapers will happen at night when Mommy is home like they did ALL last week.

#2, if you're unlucky (like today) a monster poopy diaper will be waiting first thing in the morning.

#3, she's not nearly as hard to put down for a nap as I thought and was afraid of.

#4, foot tattoos hurt, seriously hurt.

#5, Ms. Fawne Derosia is an amazing tattoo artist.

#6, my wife isn't crazy about my spontaneity and irrationality but she loves me anyway.

#7, I've lived 27 years of my life without realizing that I love coffee.

#8, I've lived 27 years of my life and never heard "One Irish Rover" by Van Morrison and that is a shame

#9, life is good, it may not seem good sometimes but it is good.

#10, sometimes giving a person a chance to do something for the first time is very rewarding.

I'm sure there are more but I can't think of anything else at the moment.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Truth is I'm becoming quite a coffee drinker. I decided about a month ago to try to lose some weight and my starting point was cutting out soft drinks (for the most part) so while I wanted to cut out soft drinks I had no desire to cut out caffeine. The solution? Drink coffee. I've never been a huge coffee drinker, just when it's cold or the mood strikes me, but for the better part of a month I've been drinking it regular and I actually enjoy it. This home made stuff at home is a heap better than the instant stuff I was drinking at my former place of employment. Harper wants a taste every now and then but I haven't let her yet. Maybe one morning when her Gammie is on duty I'll slip her a swaller or 2. I guess I'm gonna finish this cup (the 3rd of the morning) and me and Harper Grace will go ramble around outside awhile.

Alright Then

My thoughts on a lot of Things

Here I sit in front of my Dell about to articulate my thoughts into written word. Please forgive me Frequent Reader, I know it is hard to bear.

I am an opinionated person, I feel strongly about most things that I feel about at all.

Do not become a slave to Nicotine, in one way, shape or form it will kill you.

Do not over do it with the bottle, or it will make you it's slave.

Do not forsake your education because it is your's and your's only.

Do not Love your parents half way, they love you beyond comprehension.

Always have a dog handy, they will love you nearly as much as your parents.

Money is fleeting, don't sweat it.

Music is forever, embrace it and let it flow over you.

God is Love, Love him with all you have.

Life is hard, Live it.

Respect is earned, remember it.

Credit is the devil, do not use it.

Memories are Golden, remember them.

Childhood is the best time of your life, don't grow up too fast.

Family members are your's to lean on, use them.

Always be the kind of friend that you would want.

Never be mean to Old People, they're precious.

Listen to Alice's Resturant at least once all the way through in your lifetime.

Read the Classics, they will blow your mind.

Learn Algebra, you will need it.

Read the Bible, it is the guide.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Work hard, but don't forget to Live.

Pray without ceasing, it helps.

Forgive others, even if they don't deserve it.

The South is the Greatest Place in the World.

Listen more than you talk, you will learn much.

People will hurt you, don't let it bother you.

Tattoos are liberating.

A small child's hug is one of the most amazing things in the world.

These are a few things bouncing around in my head, most are pure Clyde Murphy, a few are borrowed.

Take Them, Live Them, Be happy, Life's too Short to be Miserable.

Alright Then

Armadillo Eradication

Picture this, acres and acres of beautiful manicured lawn (Ok, maybe more like an acre of slightly yellowing grass) that looks like it has been busted open with a breaking plow. Yes, this is my yard, and Armadillos are the culprits. I have had an eye out for them for weeks now and they keep sneaking in and wreaking havoc on my grass at times unknown.

About 6:30 one evening last week I pull in the driveway and low and behold there is a Diller in the yard! "Finally! I will have my revenge!" I ease into my parking spot and Mr. Armadillo spooks and runs under the front porch. I decide my best course of action is slip into the house and get my trusty Charter Arms snub nose .38 Special and my Coon hunting light.

I grab the pistol and the light and notify Jessica that she will be hearing a loud bang momentarily. I cautiously go back outside and he's still under the porch. I decide my next step will be to jump up and down on the porch a few times and "Run em' out" and shoot at him as he was trying to make his getaway (I was hoping and praying he wouldn't dash for my new truck or Jessica's new car as that could end in catastrophe).

Well Mr. Armadillo apparently was perfectly happy to stay in his comfy little area under the porch. At this point it time I'm very close to letting a couple of rounds fly under there and hope for the best. Finally after several more attempts of jumping on the porch I get on the ground eye level with him and he starts coming RIGHT AT ME, now I'm not easily scared but everyone knows a cornered Armadillo is nothing to sneeze at, so I'm doing the reverse belly crawl (back crawl?) and all of a sudden he switches direction and darts out from the other side of the porch. With my best Rambo roll/jump/fall/run I cut the corner of the porch just in time to see him loping across the yard at about 37 feet. I let one rip out of the ever faithful .38 and see dirt fly. I reckon I scared him as he stopped right out in the wide open. This is where missed shot #2 occurs, I guess he figures he better get a move on again and he takes off toward the woods. Right as he gets to the wood line I let miss #3 rip....Now I'm starting to get a little worried, I only have 2 bullets left and I have a crazed shot at Armadillo in the woods. I bail off in the timber and catch a glimpse of him, I shoot and miss #4 happens. He stops almost daring me to try that last time. I change my strategy a little and decide to sneak a little closer (I'm already at about 15 feet, I figure at 10 feet there's no way I miss) I get my sneak on and right at the 10 foot mark he jumps straight up and takes off, BANG and yes you guessed it.......Dead armadillo #1, hit him in the head just as he was about to get out of Dodge. 

I climb the steps and go into the house valiantly like the hero I am. Jessica said "Did you get him?" Well yes I sure did. My ears are ringing to high heaven and I'm covered in dirt but I have conquered.

After I shower we decide to go to our often frequented favorite place to eat "Hill's Wings and Things" where my good buddy Alex Hill is the Proprietor/Chef/Truck Driver.

As I walk out the front door I notice a grey blob over on the opposite side of the yard. You guessed it, culprit #2!

I tell Jessica to hold still and slide back into the house to locate a gun with bullets in it as my .38 has run dry.

I settle on my coon hunting gun, a Remington .22 auto. As I walk back outside I go to turn on the porch light only to find it is blown.....I guess I'll just have to go for it on a wing and a prayer. I tell Jessica "No way I miss this time" as my Remington speaks the Armadillo does the death flop and all is right in the world again, Clyde-2 Armadillos-0. I have won the battle, but not the war.

Alright Then